Sorry," I said. There was little healing power in the word, but maybe the Inspectre wasn't looking to heal. Maybe he didn't want someone to fix it. It had been broken too long for me to think anything I said would actually help. It was like trying to put a Band-Aid on a shark bite. Sometimes people just needed to vent and get it out of their system.

Anton Strout

Tags: humorous listening venting

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It saddened me that sometimes shopping was far more perilous than dealing with zombies and vampires.

Anton Strout

Tags: humorous vampires zombies shopping

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Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of 'Stagefright Sympathy Sickness'.

E.A. Bucchianeri

Tags: humor music humour funny entertainment humorous show-business stage musicians concerts musician piano master mastery pianist classical-music gifted-people entertainers liberace pianists showbiz stagefright talented-people

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I'm not helping any of you freaks!" she shouts. "I'm not the Witch of Wayland, you hear me? I'm sick of all you mutants pounding on my door for love spells and all the like! I told you, I don't do that backwoods modern-day, wannabe Wiccafuck stuff! You hear me?

J.A. Redmerski

Tags: humorous

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She stops chewing and brings the chains on her wrist up to her nose and sniffs. She pulls away with a mild disgusted expression. "Definitely smells like a skank...

J.A. Redmerski

Tags: humorous comebacks

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Toddlers are germ-warfare machines in a cute package"
- Debora Geary

Debora Geary

Tags: humorous

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T. Wiggett Jones: It should be illegal...to feel this rotten...without a variety of loathsome memories to cherish.

Wild Wild West (TV) First Season: Night of the Grand Emir

Michael Garrison

Tags: humorous

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Dr. Loveless: Dang these pine needles. Why can't a forest be decently carpeted?

Wild Wild West (TV) Second Season: Night of the Green Terror

Michael Garrison

Tags: humorous

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michelle would get picked up and bang someone anonymous stud in the bathroom, and i would sip my drink wishing i could go home and curl up with a book. i sigh. thats ok. she was my vicarious slutty friend. and for that i loved her

Marata Eros

Tags: humorous

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Berhenti ngelihatin saya seperti itu kalau kamu nggak mau mendapati diri kamu telanjang di atas tempat tidur saya dalam waktu lima detik.

AliaZalea

Tags: humorous

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