Worry:Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Dean Ing

Tags: humorous

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The reason politics makes strange bedfellows is because they all like the same bunk.

Los Angeles Times

Tags: humorous

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Tags: humorous

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And now leave me in peace for a bit! I don't want to answer a string of questions while I am eating. I want to think!"

"Good Heavens!" said Pippin. "At breakfast?

J.R.R. Tolkien

Tags: humorous breakfast hobbits

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Obstinate, headstrong girl!

Jane Austen

Tags: humorous pride-and-prejudice

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Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.

Will Cuppy

Tags: humor animals humorous apes primates mammals

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The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

Will Cuppy

Tags: humor animals humorous birds

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I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.

Victor Borge

Tags: humor humorous victor-borge victor borge

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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

Victor Borge

Tags: humor funny humorous opera fat piano victor-borge victor borge singers

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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

Victor Borge

Tags: humor funny humorous victor-borge victor borge requests

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