One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.
Victor BorgeTags: humor funny humorous fire victor-borge victor borge fireplace
(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?
Victor BorgeTags: humor funny humorous victor-borge victor borge sneeze
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Victor BorgeTags: humor funny humorous victor-borge victor borge
But how do we know it's really you? I mean, I could put a saucepan on my head and call myself the God of Boiled Dumplings; wouldn't mean I was telling the truth.
K.J. ParkerTags: humorous
Looking out of the window at the infinite sky, I prayed out, 'Dear Baby Jesus, I am sorry for my sin, even though I do not know what they are, which seems a bit unfair if it is going to be held against me. But that is your way. And I am not questioning your wisdomosity. In future, however, would it be possible for my life to be not so entirely crap? Thank you.
Louise RennisonTags: humorous
I was cold, hungry, and in a hole in the ground. But at least I had my elven porn, damnit!
Kim HarrisonTags: humorous
I would so rock at running amuck.
K.C. RandallTags: humorous
Be generous with your smile and try not to frown.
And you will see my children; your smile will never let you down ☺
Tags: wisdom education poetry humorous educational children-s-literature
I want you back here now. I want you next to me now. I cannot believe that my family, your brother, all our friends, and an entire police force can't keep tabs on one twenty-six year old graphic designer who thinks he's fuckin' Batman.
--Detective Sam Kage in A Matter Of Time (vol 2 or part 4)
Tags: humorous
Citizen's arrest," he said. "Well, that, and Patch told me to.
Becca FitzpatrickTags: humorous
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