A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Tags: humor humour jokes



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Hello, Harry" said George, beaming at him. "We thought we heard your dulcet tones."
"You don't want to bottle up your anger like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, also beaming. "There might be a couple of people fifty miles away who didn't hear you.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humour



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To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

Oscar Wilde

Tags: humour



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Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music.

Stephen Chbosky

Tags: music humour



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Yes, I am here. And you are lucky to be here too after all the absurd things you've done since you left home.

J.R.R. Tolkien

Tags: humour



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I couldn't be fonder of you if you were my own son. But, well, if you lose a son, its possible to get another. There's only one Maltese Falcon.

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humour



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A man who trusts everyone is a fool and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.

Robert Jordan

Tags: humour fools



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Leave any problem alone for long enough and it will solve itself.

Nell Dixon

Tags: humour



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It was almost noon when the plane touched down at the Triad airport on the outskirts of Greensboro. There was a hire car waiting for me; I waved my notepad at the dashboard to transmit my profile, then waited as the seating and controls rearranged themselves slightly, piezoelectric actuators humming. As I started to reverse out of the parking bay, the stereo began a soothing improvisation, flashing up a deadpan title: Music for Leaving Airports 11 June 2008.

Greg Egan

Tags: humor humour science-fiction



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The captain was a good chess player, and the games were always interesting. Yossarian had stopped playing chess with him because the games were so interesting they were foolish.

Joseph Heller

Tags: humour



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