I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
Bill HicksTags: humor humour misanthropy
Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to happen, was because of certain people in our country. People like, and I'm quoting, 'the pagans,' which is a motorcycle group. Feminists; he brought up feminists. [...] And I couldn't believe it, he said that God had actually talked to him and said, these were the people. That was the reason. It was those people, and that was the reason God allowed this to happen. And I thought, 'That's odd.' Because God had called me twelve hours before, and He said the reason He was upset was because of people like Jerry Falwell.
Lewis BlackTags: politics religion humour theology gay-rights
When you're drowning you don't think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream.
John LennonTags: power-of-words humour
No plaque reminds the passer-by of these glories, although there should be one; for those who invent biscuits bring great pleasure to many.
Alexander McCall SmithDoobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
Eoin ColferTags: humour
The advantage of being married a long time was that one could argue without the necessity of the other's actual, physical presence.
William Browning SpencerTags: humour
For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.
Douglas AdamsWe started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.
Alan BennettTags: life society humour anarchy rules
We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.
Douglas AdamsTags: science life humour technology
We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
Douglas AdamsTags: life doubt humour uncertainty definition
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