I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
Quentin CrispTags: inspirational atheism humour prayer absurdism
Necessity is a mother.
David CarrTags: humour
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
George CarlinIf you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody AllenBased on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
David LettermanTags: humour
You ever want to negotiate a hostage situation in Quebec, I'm your man. Send me in for a little parley and the francophone miscreants will flee, hands over bleeding ears.
Will FergusonEternal nothingness is okay if you are dressed for it.
David KrumholtzTags: humour
The name of the new religion," said Rumfoord, "is The Church of God the Utterly Indifferent.
Kurt Vonnegut Jr.Tags: humour
If they projected the fact that they are dangerous any harder, there would be little puddles of "danger" on the floor around them. Look, it's "danger", don't step in it!
Mercedes LackeyHalf my life is an act of revision.
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