I believe that if it were left to artists to choose their own labels, most would choose none.

Ben Shahm

Tags: art humour



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The only way I can describe the extent of my anxiety is to say that I felt as if I were pregnant with a rock.

Katharine Graham

Tags: simile humour strikes washington-post



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Don't call me 'gentleman'. I work for a livin'.

Tamora Pierce

Tags: humour labels gentry george-cooper



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This may be my only chance to see humans before these two are made into fertilizer for Moonwind's rosebushes.

Tamora Pierce

Tags: humour dragons meet



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The man behind the check-in counter gives the impression that he has just axe-murdered the motel's owner (and family, and family pet) and is going through these procedures of hostelry so as not to arouse suspicion.

Paul Quarrington

Tags: murder humour hotels receptionists



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The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

Saki

Tags: humour



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I shall never have a bath again," I said.
"Just dont have one too often," my grandmother said. "Once a month is quite enough for a sensible child." It was at times like these that I loved my grandmother more than ever.

Roald Dahl

Tags: humour



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The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Oscar Levant

Tags: politics humour



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I'm thinking that I shouldn't have filed my nails last night.

Dara Torres

Tags: humour swimming good-sportsmanship



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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Rodney Dangerfield

Tags: humor humour



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