Oh! And they read English novels! David! Did you ever look into an English novel? Well, do not trouble yourself. It is nothing but a lot of nonsense about girls with fanciful names getting married.
Susanna ClarkeTags: humour literature novels
Ah, but surely you must now be saying, "waitaminute, tuna fish would go bad if you kept it in your pocket for weeks and weeks without refrigerating it."
To that I simply say: You obviously haven't read Professor P.S. Schackman's informative book How to Keep Tuna Fish in Your Pocket for Weeks and Weeks Without it Going Bad. I suggest you read it before complaining about the tuna situation again.
Tags: humour
Denis could think of no logical reason why he should not attempt to mate with Beth Cooper.
There were no laws explicitly against it.
They were of the same species, and had complementary sex organs, most likely, based on extensive mental modeling Denis had done.
I'm sorry I'm so pathetic," he thought, and then realized he had also said it.
Beth laughed, so lightly and so kindly that Denis felt it in his chest, not his stomach.
Can I tell you a secret?"
Yes, tell me all your secrets Denis kept to himself.
Beth leaned in, whispered: "All boys are pathetic.
You really saw some?" Liz said an hour later. Sure, we had the stereo blaring and the shower running, but Liz still whispered, "They really...exist?"
"Liz," I whispered back, "they're not unicorns."
"No," Bex said flatly, "they're boys. And they're...good.
Tags: humour spy ally-carter series
…and to all you other cats and chicks out there, sweet or otherwise, buried deep in wordy tombs, who never yet have walked from off the page, a shake and a hug and a kiss and a drink. Cheers!
Gilbert SorrentinoTags: humour
This was the tricky bit. The really tricky bit, trickiness cubed.
Hugh LaurieTags: humour house-md hugh-laurie
I don't care how much you eat, Ender, self-cannibalism won't get you out of this school.
Orson Scott CardTags: humour sci-fi ender cannibalism
We have buried the putrid corpse of liberty
Benito MussoliniOur great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man, and our politicians take advantage of this prejudice by pretending to be even more stupid than nature made them.
Bertrand RussellTags: politics democracy humour funny revolution communism dishonesty socialism politicians
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