Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.
Honoré de BalzacTags: humour funny witty clever sarcasism
How can one not be fond of something that the Daily Mail despises?
Stephen FryTags: humour conservatism bigotry daily-mail reactionaries
It was absolutely necessary to interrupt him now.
Jane AustenHe's got a chloroform-soaked rag in one hand, and before Judy realizes what's happening, the dude is all over her like fat on cheese.
Dean KoontzTags: humour
He once told me that an August evening was "as hot as three toads in a Cuisinart," a comparison that left me blinking two days later.
Dean KoontzPeople are all exactly alike. There's no such thing as a race and barely such a thing as an ethnic group. If we were dogs, we'd be the same breed. George Bush and an Australian Aborigine have fewer differences than a Lhasa apso and a toy fox terrier. A Japanese raised in Riyadh would be an Arab. A Zulu raised in New Rochelle would be an orthodontist. People are all the same, though their circumstances differ terribly.
P.J. O'RourkeSwans sing before they die— 't were no bad thing
Should certain persons die before they sing.
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'"
I stared at him, shocked.
The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after."
Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.
Tags: humour
When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine.
"Put your clothes in for a wash," he said. "They were disgusting."
Ginny always thought that the only way of getting clothes clean was by drowning them in scalding water and then whipping them around in a violent centrifugal motion that caused the entire washing machine to vibrate and the floor to shake. You beat them clean. You made them suffer. This machine used about half a cup of water and was about as violent as a toaster, plus it stopped every few minutes, as if it were exhausted from the effort of turning itself.
Sluff, sluff, sluff sluff. Rest. Rest. Rest.
Click.
Sluff, sluff, sluff, sluff. Rest. Rest. Rest.
"Who thought to put a window on a washing machine?" Keith asked. "Does anyone just sit and watch their wash?"
You mean, besides us?"
"Well," he said, "yeah. Is there any coffee?
Tags: humor humour funny ginny keith
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