Sometimes you know you've got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn't so messed up, it wouldn't be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn't.

Nick Hornby

Tags: love romance humour



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Wainscott, Deepspace Operations Group,’ said the man. ‘Wasn’t here, don’t exist, pleased to meet you.

Toby Frost

Tags: humour fiction



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Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

Arthur Wellesley

Tags: humour horse wit stable dublin prime-minister



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Am sorry to note that abuse and condemnation of a common acquaintance often constitutes very strong bond of union between otherwise uncongenial spirits.

E.M. Delafield

Tags: humour



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Snyder: There are some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense."
Giles: Well, actually, that would be one of the five.

Mutant Enemy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Tags: humour senses



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Langdon turned to Sophie. "Who is that? What... happened?"
Teabing hobbled over. "You were rescued by a knight brandishing an Excalibur made by Acme Orthopedic.

Dan Brown

Tags: humour



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I am irritated by my own writing. I am like a violinist whose ear is true, but whose fingers refuse to reproduce precisely the sound he hears within.

Gustave Flaubert

Tags: writing humour creativity pessimistic



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Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.

Eoin Colfer

Tags: humour funny



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It is the most fun I’m ever going to have. I love to write. I love it. I mean, there’s nothing in the world I like better, and that includes sex, probably because I’m so very bad at it. It’s the greatest peace when I’m in a scene, and it’s just me and the character, that’s it, that’s where I want to live my life.

Joss Whedon

Tags: passion inspiration humour creativity



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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

Mark Twain

Tags: humour smoking giving-up



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