I learned early and at that kitchen table that there are ways of avoiding, without guilt, the commitments of love.

P.D. James

Tags: humor love humour theo avoid



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Charm is often despised but I can never see why. No one has it who isn't capable of genuinely liking others, at least at the actual moment of meeting and speaking. Charm is always genuine; it may be superficial but it isn't false.

P.D. James

Tags: humor humour false charm theo genuine xan



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How could you receive a member of the Male Sex in your bedroom, and in your dressing gown?Sir, I must request you to leave immediately!"

"You don't mean to tell me that's a dressing gown?" interrupted Mr Carlton, a dangerous gleam in his eyes." Well, it's by far the most elegant one I've ever been priviledged to see, and I suppose I must have seen scores of 'em in my time-paid for them too!

Georgette Heyer

Tags: humour



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Why do only the awful things become fads? I thought. Eye-rolling and Barbie and bread pudding. Why never chocolate cheesecake or thinking for yourself?

Connie Willis

Tags: humour independence barbie bellwether fads



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I gather you yellow-skinned men, despite your triumphs in sewage, drinking water, and Olympic gold medals, still don't have democracy. Some politician on the radio was saying that that's why we Indian are going to beat you: we may not have sewage, drinking water, and Olympic gold medals, but we do have democracy.
If I were making a country, I'd get the sewage pipes first, then the democracy, then I'd go about giving pamphlets and statues of Gandhi to other people, but what do I know? I am just a murderer!

Aravind Adiga

Tags: politics democracy humour



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And when the firemen turned off the hose and were standing in the wet, smoky room, Jim's Aunt, Miss Prothero, came downstairs and peered in at them. Jim and I waited, very quietly, to hear what she would say to them. She said the right thing, always. She looked at the three tall firemen in their shining helmets, standing among the smoke and cinders and dissolving snowballs, and she said, "Would you like anything to read?

Dylan Thomas

Tags: books humour



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Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.

Charles Bukowski

Tags: humour



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Actually, I am a failed anorexic. I have anorexic thinking, but I can't seem to muster the behavoir

Carrie Fisher

Tags: humor humour



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We're on a mission from Glod.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humour



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Cider was my drink because I liked the taste and it made me stupid.

Frank Skinner

Tags: humour



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