.« Nik has obviously spoken to Nat about my candy preferences.
Written in raspberry bullets is ‘I’m sorry’.
Written in green apple jellybeans is ‘I miss you’.
Written in cherry jellybeans is ‘I love you’.
My heart skips a beat at the last line.
Written in gummy bears is ‘Marry me’.
Did Nik just propose using candy?
Why, yes, brain. Yes, he did. »
Tags: humour
All of my favourite quotes to live by are in my book, I wrote it for a reason
Blake JoyTags: inspirational humour
Signing autographs is much better than signing on.
Kirkland CicconeTags: humour
I watched Question Time on BBC1 last night and I've come to the conclusion this country needs more unemployed politicians.
Kirkland CicconeTags: humour
Does Uncle Bob have anything?"
"I heard he has an STD."
"I mean on the women."
"Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Tags: humour charley-davidson
I started to put my phone back in my bag when Ozzy yelled out, his accent so thick, I was only half certain he said, "Where the foock are ya goin'?"
Uncle Bob jumped. I must've turned on my GPS.
"You have to tahn the foock around. You're in the middle of foockin' nowhere."
"What the hell is that?" Uncle Bob asked, almost swerving off the road.
"Sorry, it's Ozzy." I grabbed my phone and turned down the volume. "He's so demanding." I pushed a few buttons to turn off the app, then put the phone to my ear. "Sweet, buttermilk pancakes, Ozzy, you have to stop calling me. You're a married man!" I pretended to hang up, then rolled my eyes. "Rock stars.
Tags: humour charley-davidson gps uncle-bob
I grab at Smitty and he at me, and, for one horrible, deperately embarrassing second we fly into each others arms like Shaggy and Scooby Don't.
Kirsty McKayTags: romance humour action teenagers favorite zombie-apocalypse
The French expression 'cul-de-sac' describes what the Baudelaire orphans found when they reached the end of the dark hallway, and like all French expressions, it is most easily understood when you translate each French word into English. The word 'de,' for instance is a very common French world, I would be certain that 'de' means 'of.' The word 'sac' is less common, but I can fairly certain that it means something like 'mysterious circumstances.' And the word 'cul' is such a rare French word that I am forced to guess at its translation, and my guess is that in this case it would mean 'At the end of the dark hallway, the Baudelaire children found an assortment,' so that the expression 'cul-de-sac' here means 'At the end of the dark hallway, the Baudelaire children found an assortment of mysterious circumstances.
Lemony SnicketTags: humour french translation
On a Tuesday they were we, and by Friday they were dead and they buried them in the courtyard side by side, oh, my love, and they buried them dies by side" breaking away from Gideon with some reluctance, Sophie, rose to her feet and dusted off her dress. "Please forgive me, my dear Mr. Lightwood-I mean Gideon- but I must go murder the cook. I shall be directly back.
Cassandra ClareTags: humour sophie-collins gideon-lightwood
Aim for a million bucks, you suddenly need a billion. I upgraded my computer, but it wasn't enough. No matter what, it ain't fucken enough in life, that's what I learned
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