There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millett's

Half Man Half Biscuit

Tags: music humour



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FEAR stands for fuck everything and run.

Stephen King

Tags: humor humour stephen-king



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Stephen is my boyfriend," Doug said. "We're gay together."

"I'm also gay when we're apart," Stephen added.

Valerie Z. Lewis

Tags: humour



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I also decided I want to have a meaningful relationship. But only with one person. And then stay with that person for a long time. Like, uh, monography."
Stephen types a few keys in a quick rhythm. "It's shame your epiphany wasn't accompanied by a thesaurus.

Valerie Z. Lewis

Tags: humour



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Carpe Rectum. Seize the hot ass the good Lord has provided.

Valerie Z. Lewis

Tags: philosophy humour



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I'm sorry," he muttered. "If I... uh, hurt your feelings or something."
She glared at him. "I'm not hurt. I'm pissed off and sexually frustrated."
His head snapped back on his spine. Well... then. Okaaaaay.

J.R. Ward

Tags: sex humour zsadist black-dagger-brotherhood bella lover-awakened



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I THINK NOT. I WASN'T CUT OUT TO BE A FATHER, AND CERTAINLY NOT A GRANDAD. I HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT KIND OF KNEES.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humour



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Behind him the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat. His eyes took on a distant, glazed look.

"The Stealer of Souls," he said in the faraway voice of one whose ears aren't hearing what his mouth is saying, “Defeater of Empires, Swallower of Oceans, Thief of Years, The Ultimate Reality, Harvester of Mankind, the—"

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. I CAN SEE MYSELF IN.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humour



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An hour ago Cutwell had thumbed through the index of The Monster Fun Grimoire and had cautiously assembled a number of common household ingredients and put a match to them.
Funny thing about eyebrows, he mused. You never really noticed them until they'd gone.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humour eyebrows



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And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers. Even before it entered the city, it was slow and heavy with the silt of the plains, and by the time it got to The Shades even an agnostic could have walked across it. It was hard to drown in the Ankh, but easy to suffocate.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: religion humour pollution



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