The lot of the bride
to be wed before bed
desired until rotten.
The lot of the author
to be read before bed
admired then forgotten.

Roman Payne

Tags: humor writers humour marriage funny admiration authors desire roman weddings payne brides

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Christmas, as a practicing Catholic child, was seen as a reward for lots and lots and lots of church.

Jenny Colgan

Tags: humour atheist

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Bowman turned his back on her and began to search the place methodically and exhaustively. When one searches any place, be it a gypsy caravan or a baronial mansion, methodically and exhaustively, one has to wreck it completely in the process.So, in a orderly and systematic fashion, Bowman set about reducing Czerda's caravan to a total ruin.

Alistair MacLean

Tags: humour caravan maclean vaccares

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Martin, at my age, eroticism is reduced to enjoying caramel custard and looking at widows' necks.

Carlos Ruiz Zafón

Tags: humour fiction

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Joel Cairo: You always have a very smooth explanation ready.
Sam Spade: What do you want me to do, learn to stutter?

Dashiell Hammett

Tags: humour eloquence

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Oh, I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time!

Drew Barrymore

Tags: dumb humour affection

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The encapsulated bird your conspirators sent you to fetch. The sterilized male chicken with the Creator DNA sequences. The plot capon. Where is it?

Charles Stross

Tags: humour ironic-self-reference

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Like the famous mad philosopher said, when you stare into the void, the void stares also; but if you cast into the void, you get a type conversion error. (Which just goes to show Nietzsche wasn't a C++ programmer.)

Charles Stross

Tags: humour geek

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A lot of people say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I don't think there's a fine line, I actually think there's a yawning gulf. You see some poor bugger scuffling up the road with balloons tied to his ears, he's not going home to invent a rocket, is he?

Bill Bailey

Tags: humour 1998 tv comedian is-it-bill-bailey

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Hello, IT... Have you tried turning it off and on again?... OK, well, the button on the side. Is it glowing?... Yeah, you need to turn it on.... Err, the button turns it on.... Yeah, you do know how a button works, don't you?... No, not on clothes... I'm sorry, are you from the past?

Graham Linehan

Tags: humour graham-linehan the-it-crowd tv-comedy

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