YOU are the big drop of dew under the lotus leaf,
I am the smaller one on its upper side,'
said the dewdrop to the lake.

Rabindranath Tagore

Tags: humor inspirational philosophy humour stray-birds

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People don't deserve the restraint we show by not going into delirium in front of them.

Louis-Ferdinand Céline

Tags: humor humanity people sanity humour exasperation

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Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things.
That is exactly what things were originally made for.

Oscar Wilde

Tags: humour

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We are getting older fatter and balder. Each day brings us one step closer to death. Other than that, life's a ding-a-derry.

M. Kushner

Tags: inspirational humour

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I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying. I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I did do but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy, then OK, I'm sorry.

John Lennon

Tags: humor religion humour jesus beatles apology

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Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?

Spike Milligan

Tags: humour

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[Kirk] paced back toward his command chair, all eyes on him. "He must have a weakness."

"Certainly," Chekov said. "Is he not basically humanoid? He could be poisoned, phasered, stabbed-"

Kirk sneered. "Without killing him, Ensign."

With a shrug, Chekov turned quietly back to his console, pulling his hands from his lap and placing them on the controls.

Dave Galanter

Tags: humor humour star-trek chekov kirk

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That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: it said, 'goodbye

Richard Armour

Tags: life money humour

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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love. Beep.' 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic… speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.

Andy Rooney

Tags: humour

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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Shirley Temple Black

Tags: humour fame santa-claus

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