Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.
Marian KeyesTags: love women humour relationships funny
Highland werewolves had a reputation for doing atrocious and highly unwarranted *things*, like wearing smoking jackets to the dinner table.
Gail CarrigerTags: humour
Miss Grantham's sense of humour got the better of her at this point, and, tottering towards a chair, she sank into it, exclaiming in tragic accents:'Oh Heavens! I am betrayed!' His lordship blenched; both he and Miss Laxton regarded her with guilty dismay. Miss Grantham buried her face in her handkerchief, and uttered one shattering word: 'Wretch!
Georgette HeyerIgor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'
Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'
Ha ha,' agreed Moist.
Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'
Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.
Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled.
It may not feel too classy, begging just to eat
But you know who does that?
Lassie, and she always gets a treat
So you wonder what your part is
Because you're homeless and depressed But home is where the heart is
So your real home's in your chest
Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got villains they must face
They're not as cool as mine
But folks you know it's fine to know your place
Everyone's a hero in their own way
In their own not-that-heroic way
So I thank my girlfriend Penny
Yeah, we totally had sex
She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex
There's the deltoids of compassion,
There's the abs of being kind
It's not enough to bash in heads
You've got to bash in minds
Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got something they can do Get up go out and fly
Especially that guy, he smells like poo
Everyone's a hero in their own way
You and you and mostly me and you
I'm poverty's new sheriff
And I'm bashing in the slums
A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums
Everybody!
Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone can blaze a hero's trail
Don't worry if it's hard
If you're not a friggin 'tard you will prevail
Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's a hero in their...
Tags: individuality inspirational humour heroism dr-horrible-sing-along-blog musical-song-lyrics
I am never taking a trip with either of you ever again.' Eve said. 'Ever.'
Excellent' Shane said. 'Then next trip, we hit the strip bar.'
I have a gun, Shane,' Eve sighed.
What, you think i actually loaded yours?'
Eve flipped him off, and Claire laughed.
Tags: humour
Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.
Oscar WildeTags: humour literature
Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why
is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says
people need to shave twice a day.
Tags: humour
Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!
Simone ElkelesTags: humour
Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west."
The sun rises in the east, dickhead."
Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west.
Tags: humour
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