You'll have to excuse Zo's manners. She was raised by a group of indigenous swamp wallabies and is at times uncomfortable conversing with civilized humans."
"Look, it's like this-" Zo started to say, but then she interrupted herself. "Swamp wallabies?
I was smiling yesterday,I am smiling today and I will smile tomorrow.Simply because life is too short to cry for anything.
Santosh KalwarTags: inspirational love romance smile joke cry
Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.
Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?"
"Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-"
"SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!"
"Sure it is. You just don't see the humor."
"Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall.
Tags: humor joke phone clary-fray tease simon-lewis
For with dandies, a joke is the only way of making yourself respected.
Jules Barbey d'AurevillyTags: humor respect joke irony dandy
Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke.
Joss WhedonTags: writing perspective stories humour dark joke
Honey, no offense, but sometimes I think I could shoot you and watch you kick.
Raymond CarverTags: love violence joke sweet offense honey intimacy kick shoot
The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.
David SedarisTags: humor funny joke vindictive
The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live...
David SedarisTags: humor funny joke cleaning
An old joke has an Oxford professor meeting an American former graduate student and asking him what he's working on these days. 'My thesis is on the survival of the class system in the United States.' 'Oh really, that's interesting: one didn't think there was a class system in the United States.' 'Nobody does. That's how it survives.
Christopher HitchensTags: united-states humour class joke
C: What do you get when a giant sneezes?
Out of the way. - Marigold
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