Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although, to be honest, giant melons don't strike me as potentially that commercial.

Jasper Fforde

Tags: humor puns



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Puns are the highest form of literature.

Alfred Hitchcock

Tags: humor literature funny puns



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Anyway, my writer gang: they kind of did their comedy apprenticeship with me and, during that period, when they were young and impressionable, I think I infected them with my pun virus. They grew to enjoy puns, think puns, just as much as me. The problem is people don't really like puns any more, so I worry I've rendered the poor fuckers virtually unemployable.

Frank Skinner

Tags: humour comedy puns



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Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.

Adam Gopnik

Tags: humor thinking mind wit self-awareness brain puns speaking



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Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: puns booze undead hogfather



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Beware of affect adorning vêtement of effect.

Steven Wood Collins

Tags: politics puns



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...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"

"Yeah," said Rincewind. "...Luters, I expect.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: puns



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How many of us are there?” he demanded in a less than amused tone.
“Legions, surely, don’t you think it must be so?”
“How can you joke about even this?” he asked, anger evident in his voice. A rarity that he expressed it, or any other emotion, for that matter. Of course, that didn’t mean the emotions weren’t there, and I’d experienced every one he’d refused to show.
“Don’t knock what you haven’t tried, Michel. Trust me when I say my regular routine of self-amusement is a much better prophylactic against insanity than your grueling regimen of nightly self-flogging.

Krisi Keley

Tags: humor puns



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But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor politics funny puns



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He leaned forward and plucked something out of my hair. 'What—?' He held the dead leaf before me.
'Must have gotten that rolling around with Alexi in the backyard.' I blinked and looked at him. 'That sounded so wrong.'
He nodded, eyebrow quirked. Waiting.
'I’m trying to learn a few things from your more experienced brother so I’m ready for our big event.'
His expression didn’t change.
'Yee-ahhh. Not any better, huh?' I laughed. Our big event could mean two vastly different things to Pietr. 'Lemme just run through the other ways I could get this wrong: Alexi’s teaching me some moves. He’s trying to put the hurt on me. He was putting me into some positions I’ve never tried before...I snorted. I couldn’t help myself.
A muscle near Pietr’s left eye twitched.
'He’s teaching me to fight!' I laughed, grabbing his wrists.

Shannon Delany

Tags: puns awkward-moments



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