I will never fit in because
I wasn't meant to
Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode.
Don RoffTags: humor writing procrastination random work funny panic editing efficiency procrastinate adhd procrastinating
Earthquakes were extremely uncommon in this area. A dragon and a unicorn playing tag wasn't.
Robert Lynn AsprinI’d seen weirder things than a haunted shoe, but not many.
Richelle MeadTags: humor random paranormal-romance funny supernatural richelle-mead storm-born haunted-shoe
Meow, Meow, Meeeeooooow?
She told you to G.T.F.O. over text????
Tags: random confused text gtfo
Why are we learning about the past, when this is History?
Galinda GlindaTags: humor past history random funny wicked
Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight, or he'll be forced to stick you. meet him where we buried the Korean whore. The one without the goatee."
That was code. It meant "Come to my place as soon as you can, it's important.
Tags: humor random absurd funny
I have no idea how long Quisser was gone from the table. My attention became fully absorbed by the other faces in the club and the deep anxiety they betrayed to me, an anxiety that was not of the natural, existential sort but one that was caused by peculiar concerns of an uncanny nature. What a season is upon us, these faces seemed to say. And no doubt their voices would have spoken directly of certain peculiar concerns had they not been intimidated into weird equivocations and double entendres by the fear of falling victim to the same kind of unnatural affliction that had made so much trouble in the mind of the art critic Stuart Quisser. Who would be next? What could a person say these days, or even think, without feeling the dread of repercussion from powerfully connected groups and individuals? I could almost hear their voices asking, "Why here, why now?" But of course they could have just as easily been asking, "Why not here, why not now?" It would not occur to this crowd that there were no special rules involved; it would not occur to them, even though they were a crowd of imaginative artists, that the whole thing was simply a matter of random, purposeless terror that converged upon a particular place at a particular time for no particular reason. On the other hand, it would also not have occurred to them that they might have wished it all upon themselves, that they might have had a hand in bringing certain powerful forces and connections into our district simply by wishing them to come. They might have wished and wished for an unnatural evil to fall upon them but, for a while at least, nothing happened. Then the wishing stopped, the old wishes were forgotten yet at the same time gathered in strength, distilling themselves into a potent formula (who can say!), until one day the terrible season began. Because had they really told the truth, this artistic crowd might also have expressed what a sense of meaning (although of a negative sort), not to mention the vigorous thrill (although of an excruciating type), this season of unnatural evil had brought to their lives.
("Gas Station Carnivals")
Tags: random evil fate horror decadence artists terror decadents thrill
Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this time... well, they matched my boxers.
Josephine MylesTags: random funny love-at-first-sight
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