Wes sat in a cracked vinyl booth picking at his fries and listening to Amanda go on and on about the dress she'd found.
'...and it has these little lavender bows. Oh, Wes, I can't wait 'til you see it.' She gesticulated wildly, and her only saving grace right now was her amazing rack that swayed and bounced with each movement. Sometimes he swore that was the only reason he ever looked crosswise at Amanda Price. That, and her daddy's checkbook.
'And I found these shoes--"
'Uh huh, that's nice,' he cut her off and slid free from the booth. He held out his hand. 'Got the card?' He waved the bill in the air at her questioning gaze. Was she a little cross-eyed, maybe? He thought so.

Brandi Salazar

Tags: humor sarcasm drama sarcastic-humor

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Aren't you supposed to say that everything is going to be okay?

C.V. Hunt

Tags: sarcastic-humor

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Nobody should have to die to a crappy soundtrack

James R. Tuck

Tags: humor sarcastic-humor

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Are you fighting evil tonight?...Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up.

James R. Tuck

Tags: sarcastic-humor

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Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there.

Kira Peikoff

Tags: religion sarcastic-humor

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Mr. Sand, do you think it's possible to fall in love in the space of a single day?"

He smiled. "I wouldn't know. I only fall in love at night. Never lasts beyond breakfast, though.

Tessa Dare

Tags: sarcastic-humor sage-advice

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It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

Jess C. Scott

Tags: cynicism marriage lust sarcasm control cynic cynical married-life control-freaks spouses sarcastic cynical-humor sarcastic-humor lust-for-everything spouse control-issues

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Don't waste yer' breath kid. Explainin' anything to that one? It's like tryin' ta' slap the dumb off a retard... -George Foster

S.P. Durnin

Tags: humor sarcasm sarcastic-humor military-humor

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The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)

S.P. Durnin

Tags: humor humorous sarcastic sarcastic-humor

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Want some help with help with that stick in your ass, love?"
"No. It's quite comfortable, thank you."
"It should be. It's been in there for years." Nix winked at Will. "I hope you'll forgive my wife. She's a bit antisocial."
"And water's a bit wet.

S.W. Vaughn

Tags: sarcastic-humor

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