The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see gun violence.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor education funny television desensitized gun-violence



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Have a baby shower, then an abortion. Now you just have to lose a little weight to squeeze into all your skimpy new outfits.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor funny abortion baby-shower



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Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor funny moderation



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Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor gender men women prostitution funny royalty



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A man is always devoted to something more tangible than a woman - the idea of her.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor love funny idealism men-and-women



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I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor disillusionment growing-up cynicism childhood funny idealism



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Injuries heal, but wrinkles are the scars of time.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor funny scars healing injuries wrinkles



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Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they'll wake up with a smile on their face.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor happiness love sleep funny smiling



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I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked you what they meant, and you told me that free associations were a bad way to advance my political career.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping



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I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people’s nightmares.

Bauvard

Mots clés humor life sleep dreams dreaming relationships funny sleeping



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