The radio signal was scrambled, and so were my eggs. I got tired of eating commercial breaks for breakfast.
Jarod KintzMy face looks different now that I got the boundaries redrawn by an experienced cartographer.
Jarod KintzThey should make blindfolds with circles cut out where the eyes are, so kidnappers would be able to tell when their victims‘ eyes are closed, so their secret locations aren’t revealed.
Jarod KintzI’m a four-time Pulitzer Prize winning admirer. I’m also a 16-time Olympic medalist observer (I saw Michael Phelps on TV).
Jarod KintzI am who I pretend to be, and right now I’m pretending to be my own clone.
Jarod KintzThere’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When teachers would ask me what I was doing, I’d hold it up and say, “Sorry I’m late.
Jarod KintzI’m interested in portraying the internal workings of things externally out of work.
Jarod KintzBefore I make you boss, I want to tattoo “Assistant” around your asshole.
Jarod KintzJust got done giving my cat a haircut and eating dinner. The two events are unrelated, though I might cough up a hairball later on.
Jarod KintzI suspended my disbelief, and left it floating in mid air.
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