I'm a kindhearted but highly competitive pragmatist. When I seek to win something, I always make certain it's never at the expense of anything more serious than the inadequate efforts of others.

Jonathan Kieran

Mots clés humor perspective ambition paradoxes satire irony-of-life existential-facts



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Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.

Danielle Wood

Mots clés humor plant work funny



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I pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me.

M.D. Saperstein

Mots clés humor love funny boyfriend



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We could, you know, go out for hot dogs. Don’t worry—they’re not actually dogs. It’s just a name. They’re these meat things that you put on buns—that’s a kind of bread—and then you top them with other things and—”
           
“I know what a hot dog is,” interrupted Mark.

“You do?” I asked, legitimately surprised. “How?”

“We’re not that remote. We have TV and movies. Besides, I’ve left Siberia, you know. I’ve been to the U.S.”

“Really? Did you try a hot dog?”
           
“No,” he said. “I was offered one … but it didn’t look that appetizing.”
           
“What!” I exclaimed. “Blasphemy. They’re delicious.”
           
“Aren’t they compressed animal parts?” he pushed.
           
“Well, yeah… I think so. But so is sausage.”
           
Mark shook his head. “I don’t know. Something’s just not right about a hot dog.”
           
“Not right? I think you mean so right.

Richelle Mead

Mots clés humor vampire-academy rose hot-dogs



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We all know I’m marrying you, as soon as you get over your thing with dog tags and realize a stethoscope is way sexier, anyway.” - Tanner

Kandi Steiner

Mots clés humor romance quote best-friend guy-friend



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Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something

Nick Offerman

Mots clés humor quote



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Thank God she wasn't wearing shorts. She hadn't shaved her legs in a week, theorizing that October in the mountains was pretty darn cold and she might need the extra layer of insulation.

Victoria Dahl

Mots clés humor funny



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What's a book boyfriend and how do I find them so I can kick their asses?

M.D. Saperstein

Mots clés humor love funny hey-there-delilah nick-santino



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You really are a pain in the ass,” he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down my cheek. He wipes it away and tucks my hair behind my ear, “But you’re my pain in the ass.

Kandi Steiner

Mots clés humor love funny-quotes romance-quotes corbin pain-in-the-ass



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Bein’ a soldier is not hard. If it was, soldiers would not be able to do it.

Terry Pratchett

Mots clés humor soldiers



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