I'm a kindhearted but highly competitive pragmatist. When I seek to win something, I always make certain it's never at the expense of anything more serious than the inadequate efforts of others.
Jonathan KieranTag: humor perspective ambition paradoxes satire irony-of-life existential-facts
Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.
Danielle WoodI pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me.
M.D. SapersteinTag: humor love funny boyfriend
We could, you know, go out for hot dogs. Don’t worry—they’re not actually dogs. It’s just a name. They’re these meat things that you put on buns—that’s a kind of bread—and then you top them with other things and—”
“I know what a hot dog is,” interrupted Mark.
“You do?” I asked, legitimately surprised. “How?”
“We’re not that remote. We have TV and movies. Besides, I’ve left Siberia, you know. I’ve been to the U.S.”
“Really? Did you try a hot dog?”
“No,” he said. “I was offered one … but it didn’t look that appetizing.”
“What!” I exclaimed. “Blasphemy. They’re delicious.”
“Aren’t they compressed animal parts?” he pushed.
“Well, yeah… I think so. But so is sausage.”
Mark shook his head. “I don’t know. Something’s just not right about a hot dog.”
“Not right? I think you mean so right.
Tag: humor vampire-academy rose hot-dogs
We all know I’m marrying you, as soon as you get over your thing with dog tags and realize a stethoscope is way sexier, anyway.” - Tanner
Kandi SteinerTag: humor romance quote best-friend guy-friend
Instead of playing Draw Something, fucking draw something
Nick OffermanThank God she wasn't wearing shorts. She hadn't shaved her legs in a week, theorizing that October in the mountains was pretty darn cold and she might need the extra layer of insulation.
Victoria DahlWhat's a book boyfriend and how do I find them so I can kick their asses?
M.D. SapersteinTag: humor love funny hey-there-delilah nick-santino
You really are a pain in the ass,” he laughs. I swat him playfully, laughing too as a single tear rolls down my cheek. He wipes it away and tucks my hair behind my ear, “But you’re my pain in the ass.
Kandi SteinerTag: humor love funny-quotes romance-quotes corbin pain-in-the-ass
Bein’ a soldier is not hard. If it was, soldiers would not be able to do it.
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