If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.

Michael P. Clutton

Mots clés humor humor-inspirational humorous-quotations



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This dudes nuttier than squirrel shit."

-Ty Henderson

Madeleine Urban

Mots clés shit humorous-quotations funny-as-hell squirrel



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Have you ever noticed that folks will say ‘Look, he has his mama’s eyes’ or ‘his daddy’s nose,’ but they never say ‘We’re so proud! Look! He’s hung just like grampa’?”
- Zach McKnight

Suzie Quint

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

Terry Pratchett

Mots clés humor funny irony ironic humorous-quotations



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Carrie Fay always says that nothing is really horrible unless it eats away your face.

Katie MacAlister

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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The truckers are staring," I said after a few seconds.

It was true. They were. The whole row of them was doing a bad job of pretending not to look at us.

"We just got engaged," Lucy shouted over to them. "I just asked this man to be my wife."

The men at the counter traded confused looks. I burst out laughing.

"We're glad you and your ass cracks could share this moment with us," she went on. "Seriously. We really are. Those are serious cracks and this is a serious moment.

Nick Burd

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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What is it you’re interested in exactly?” the man asked
slowly. “Just the color?”
“I think we both know,” said Adrian cunningly. “I want the
color. I want the ‘bonus effects.’ And I want it to look
badass. You probably can’t even do the design I want.”
“That’s the least of your worries,” said the guy. “I’ve been
doing this for years. I can draw anything you want.”
“Yeah? Can you draw a skeleton riding a motorcycle with
flames coming out of it? And I want a pirate hat on the
skeleton. And a parrot on his shoulder. A skeleton parrot.
Or maybe a ninja skeleton parrot? No, that would be
overkill. But it’d be cool if the biker skeleton could be
shooting some ninja throwing stars. That are on fire.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” said the
tattooist.
“That’s not what the ladies are going to say,” said Adrian

Richelle Mead

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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Drink to me! I just realized that I've slept with everyone at this table! ~Nell

Jennifer Crusie

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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well you can be sure I'd stop forcing the poor Jews to tart up their humble little temple dedication anniversary into some corn-fed whore of a holiday to compete with our super-slut three-titted Christmas.

Augusten Burroughs

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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This guy had more lines than loose-leaf.

Cara Lynn Shultz

Mots clés humorous-quotations



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