The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.
BauvardTag: humor pain pleasure funny
The French: a people who have used their sophisticated culture and beautiful language to bequeath to the world the sliced potato.
BauvardTag: humor funny france french-fries
Bragging about your compassion is the first step towards feeling a genuine emotion.
BauvardTag: humor compassion funny emotion boasting
Sympathy is why when a man is getting mugged, you let him keep his shirt after you take his life. Funerals are respectable affairs, after all.
BauvardTag: humor funny sympathy robbery
Dentistry is a precondition to love at first sight. When your eyes meet she beams with happiness, but when you smile back she shows her true reflexes.
BauvardFirst people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.
BauvardTag: humor morals funny hair morale
Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.
BauvardTag: humor funny understanding
Spontaneous abortion: the opposite of immaculate conception. God has compensated for Christianity’s violent history by revealing that innocent blood does not have to be spilt.
BauvardI study men like I study books: I skim their midsections.
BauvardTag: humor books funny character weight
Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.
BauvardTag: humor funny urban folk-wisdom suburban
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