Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves.

Christopher Moore


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Everyone is happier if they have someone else to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both.

Christopher Moore


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I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.

Christopher Moore

Tag: humor breakfast



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Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid?" said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung out of hell's own bunghole.

Christopher Moore

Tag: fool bunghole consonants



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Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

Christopher Moore

Tag: sarcasm gullibility fool



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The next day the weather was blown out, with whitecaps frosting the entire channel across to Lanai and the coconut palms whipping overhead like epileptic dust mops.

Christopher Moore

Tag: fluke christopher-moore



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[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it tends to be found in the New Age music section, as well as in tropical waters...)

Christopher Moore

Tag: fluke christopher-moore



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[Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really.
("Would you like fries with that?"
"Shut up and stop killing whales!"
"Thank you. Drive through, please.")

Christopher Moore

Tag: fluke christopher-moore



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[Acknowledgments] I recommend them all for further reading, but when you're finished, you may have to read several of my books and watch a lot of TV just to get stupid enough to function in the modern world again.

Christopher Moore

Tag: fluke christopher-moore



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That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.

Christopher Moore

Tag: humor inspirational



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