Few things are more difficult in this world for a young man than the securing of an introduction to the right girl under just the right conditions. When he is looking his best he is presented to her in the midst of a crowd, and is swept away after a rapid hand-shake. When there is no crowd he has toothache, or the sun has just begun to make his nose peel. Thousands of young lives have been saddened in this manner.

P.G. Wodehouse


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She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.

P.G. Wodehouse


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Didn't Frankenstein get married?"
"Did he?" said Eggy. "I don't know. I never met him. Harrow man, I expect.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor society marriage public-school



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When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor marriage jealousy disappointment engagement



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He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to shove cyanide in the consommé, and the dinner-gong due any moment.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor forgetfulness poison unhappiness borgias



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Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor face appearance mirror ugliness



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It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb trees and pull them up after them.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor anger fury fearsomeness



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It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor writing authors bad-writing dullness



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I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got one's second.

P.G. Wodehouse


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The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in deep thought, as who should say: "Now what in the world have we struck here?" But they were coops, within the meaning of the act, and we induced the hens to become tenants.

P.G. Wodehouse


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