the answer to every problem involved penguins

Rick Riordan

Tag: funny-and-random penguins



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I do know you're nothing like him. But you're still....still a lot. A lot to handle. I don't mean your junk, obviously, as we've not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can't believe I just talked about your junk.

Nicole Peeler

Tag: funny-and-random jane-true anyan



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-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?
-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor satire wit humorous comeback funny-and-random witty-quotes



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(About a cookbook...)
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor satire wit witty humorous comebacks retort funny-and-random



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Haha, I can't hit you. If I did, I'd feel sorry for the person who'd have to clean up the mess of your splattered brain.

Kyousuke Motomi

Tag: humor funny-and-random



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Jesus H. Christ on ice and Mary in the penalty box!

Rob Sheffield

Tag: funny-and-random



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Is that a rule? Do you have a rule that you can’t kiss people in the morning?

Holly Hood

Tag: love love-hurts funny-and-random



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That which must not, can not be.

Christian Morgenstern

Tag: funny-and-random



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so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Tag: funny funny-and-random



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He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them.

Josephine Myles

Tag: funny-and-random



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