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I’ve been practicin’ my morgue face for when I have to go identify your body. Wanna see it?” Nick said then he arranged his face in this kind of mock, sad, shocked look and slowly shook his head like a world with vigilante social workers
mystified him.

Kristen Ashley

Tag: funny

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I need his number,” I announced.
“What?” Roxie asked.
“Give me his cell number!” I shouted.
“Who’s got his number?”
Everyone started pulling out their phones.
“I have his number,” Indy told me.
“I don’t have his number,” Daisy said, but she was still digging through her purse as if she could help.
“I wish I had his number,” Tod put in.

Kristen Ashley

Tag: funny

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The first rule of being a ninja is, 'Do no harm.' Unless you mean to do harm. Then do lots of harm.

Splinter TMNT 2012

Tag: funny ninjas splinter tmnt

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I shot him a look. "That bouncer was really big."
His lips quirked. "Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things."
"What?"
The grin spread. "I would say size doesn't matter but it does. I would know." he winked, and I let out a disgusted groan. He laughed.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Tag: humor humour funny humorous

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Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.

Zane Stumpo

Tag: humor humour funny wit wordplay witty clever

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He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.
"That's it?"
He looked up. "Sorry?"
"Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town."
"It's got a car alarm."
"Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?"
"No. It's a pretty good car alarm.

Derek Landy

Tag: funny skulduggery skulduggery-pleasant

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We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.

Sandra Chami Kassis

Tag: humor wisdom funny sarcasm ideas revolution social-media twitter sarcastic mind-power