I understand we'll be attending your friend Miss Worthington's Christmas ball. Perhaps I'll find a suitable-- which is to say wealthy-- wife among the ladies attending."
And perhaps they will run screaming for the convent.

Libba Bray

Tag: humor funny doyle gemma dating tom



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I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, “Are you going
to point, or are you going to eat?”
“I just like to know what I’m putting in my mouth before I swallow.”
Noah arched an eyebrow, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Michelle Hodkin

Tag: funny mistaken



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Love is meant to be sipped, rather than chugged, like a glass of wine you drink strait from the bottle.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love funny wine drink



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Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love relationships funny



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Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor love time funny yesterday yes now no



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I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn’t talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Tag: humor politics love sex funny corruption congress politicians



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I'll eat rabbit pellets before you get me into something pink with ruffles.

Deb Baker

Tag: funny pink



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In the old legends, Arachne had gotten into trouble because of pride. She’d bragged about her tapestries being better than Athena’s, which had led to Mount Olympus’s first reality TV punishment program: 'So You Think You Can Weave Better Than a Goddess?' Arachne had lost in a big way.

Rick Riordan

Tag: humor funny wicked lol annabeth-chase athena



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When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”
“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Rick Riordan

Tag: funny lol leo-valdez hazel-levesque



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Oh, my dear! I’m afraid you’ve mistaken
me for someone else! My name is Rhea Silvia. I was the mother to Romulus and Remus, thousands of years ago. But you’re so kind to think I look as young as the 1950s.

Rick Riordan

Tag: funny lol annabeth-chase percy-jackson audrey-hepburn rhea-silvia



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