Put that in your mustache and smoke it.
Agatha ChristieTag: humor funny agatha-christie poirot mrs-oliver
Can you just kill me? Carry me out in a box?” I looked up at her. “Do you even have a gun?”“What kind of bodyguard would I be if I needed a gun to kill someone?” Becca smiled
Nichole ChaseSo what can I really do? If you can jump through a two-story window, then what can I do?"
"You can do that too. You don't need wings to do it,either.
What?" I asked, swallowing a mouthful.
"You remind me of me."
"That can't be good." I took another mouthful.
Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.
Maureen JohnsonTag: funny awesome awkward maureen-johnson shades-of-london
Why don't you wear those tiny shorts when you run, like they do in the movies?" His voice was low and sexy, and he knew it.
"Because I'm not in a movie. I know it's confusing, since you obviously live 'The Saxon Show' day and night, but some of us want to live a boring, old, normal high school life, you know?
Tag: love funny movies arrogant bad-boy snarky double-clutch
In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile.
i can't help teasing him. "Which? Asking to go to the bathroom or dissing me because I'm pregnant."
"you are with child?" his eyes open wid, all mock terrified.
"No! Shut up. You know I'm not." I punch him in the arm and then lead him into the stairwell, shutting the door behind us. "Okay. Seriously, Astley, what happened to you? Why is your head bleeding?
Tag: humor love funny funny-humor carrie carrie-jones zara entice astley
GRANDMA: Are you a gay?
ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man?
*She laughs*
ORPHEUS' BRAIN: Thank god she took it as a joke. I would have been executed on the town square for such a rude back answer.
Sporks are only used in the most dire situations.
Jennifer L. ArmentroutTag: funny katy life-saving sporks
Spandex bodysuits, huh?” His eyes twinkled. “If that’s what turns you on—I’m all for giving it a try.
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