Put that in your mustache and smoke it.

Agatha Christie

Stichwörter: humor funny agatha-christie poirot mrs-oliver



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Can you just kill me? Carry me out in a box?” I looked up at her. “Do you even have a gun?”“What kind of bodyguard would I be if I needed a gun to kill someone?” Becca smiled

Nichole Chase

Stichwörter: funny bodyguard



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So what can I really do? If you can jump through a two-story window, then what can I do?"
"You can do that too. You don't need wings to do it,either.

Courtney Allison Moulton

Stichwörter: funny wings window jump



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What?" I asked, swallowing a mouthful.
"You remind me of me."
"That can't be good." I took another mouthful.

Courtney Allison Moulton

Stichwörter: funny remind me



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Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.

Maureen Johnson

Stichwörter: funny awesome awkward maureen-johnson shades-of-london



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Why don't you wear those tiny shorts when you run, like they do in the movies?" His voice was low and sexy, and he knew it.
"Because I'm not in a movie. I know it's confusing, since you obviously live 'The Saxon Show' day and night, but some of us want to live a boring, old, normal high school life, you know?

Liz Reinhardt

Stichwörter: love funny movies arrogant bad-boy snarky double-clutch



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In Norwegian that would be 'hun ma dra. Kanskje er hun gravid.'" Astley sttempts to smile.
i can't help teasing him. "Which? Asking to go to the bathroom or dissing me because I'm pregnant."
"you are with child?" his eyes open wid, all mock terrified.
"No! Shut up. You know I'm not." I punch him in the arm and then lead him into the stairwell, shutting the door behind us. "Okay. Seriously, Astley, what happened to you? Why is your head bleeding?

Carrie Jones

Stichwörter: humor love funny funny-humor carrie carrie-jones zara entice astley



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GRANDMA: Are you a gay?
ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man?
*She laughs*
ORPHEUS' BRAIN: Thank god she took it as a joke. I would have been executed on the town square for such a rude back answer.

Scarlett Brukett

Stichwörter: humor funny freak-out



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Sporks are only used in the most dire situations.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Stichwörter: funny katy life-saving sporks



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Spandex bodysuits, huh?” His eyes twinkled. “If that’s what turns you on—I’m all for giving it a try.

J.C. Reed

Stichwörter: love romance funny



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