Leap out the window, my inner Tigress cried. You aren't ready to face such a powerful Tiger. I frowned. I thought a true Tigress never backed down from a fight. Don't you know anything? When she's in heat, she avoids everything male. Now run!

Gena Showalter

Tag: funny



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But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"
Claire sighed and held up her wrist to show him the bandage. "Man, you would be so embarrassed if I said it was something else." Michael looked blank. "I'm a girl, Michael, it could have been all natural, you know. Tampons?

Rachel Caine

Tag: funny morganville-vampires



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The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Tag: humor classic funny



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Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."
Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"
Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.

Orson Scott Card

Tag: humour funny stupid advent-rising



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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

Bill Watterson

Tag: education school funny calvin-and-hobbes comic



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I like stepping into the future. Therefore, I look for doorknobs.

Mark Rosen

Tag: future funny doorknobs



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I'm not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Tag: humor politics usa funny



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All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.

Will Rogers

Tag: humor funny media



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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Cathy Guisewite

Tag: funny eyes lemons



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I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Tag: funny stupid wow



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