Akhlys lunged at Percy, and for a split second he thought: Well, hey, I’m just smoke. She can’t touch me, right?
He imagined the Fates up in Olympus, laughing at his wishful thinking: LOL, NOOB!

Rick Riordan

Tag: humor



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I will call him Small Bob," said Bob. "He is a good monster."

End of discussion.The Titan hefted his spear and they continued marching into the gloom.

Rick Riordan

Tag: humor



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People were so scared of telling the truth because the truth was chaotic and complicated and decidedly uncool, but uncool was the way I rolled. Or it would be if I used tired old phrases like 'That's the way I roll', which I so don't.

Sarra Manning

Tag: humor truth cool



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Mrs. Earwig said the village women know what to do,” said Annagramma hopefully. “She says to trust in their peasant wisdom.”

“Well, Mrs. Obble was the old woman who called, and she has just got simple peasant ignorance,” said Tiffany. “She puts leaf mold on wounds if you don’t watch her. Look, just because a woman’s got no teeth doesn’t mean she’s wise. It might just mean she’s been stupid for a very long time.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor



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[Leo] lunged at Passalos, but the red-furred dwarf was too quick. He sprang from his chair, bounced off Jason’s head, did a flip, and landed next to Leo, his hairy arms around Leo’s waist.
“Save me?” the dwarf pleaded.
“Get off!” Leo tried to shove him away, but Passalos did a backward somersault and landed out of reach. Leo’s pants promptly fell around his knees.
He stared at Passalos, who was now grinning and holding a small zigzaggy strip of metal. Somehow, the dwarf had stolen the zipper right off Leo’s pants.
“Give—stupid—zipper!” Leo stuttered, trying to shake his fist and hoist up his pants at the same time.
“Eh, not shiny enough.” Passalos tossed it away.

Rick Riordan

Tag: humor dwarf zipper leo-valdez jason-grace passalos



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Akmon pulled a ratchet wrench from the tool belt and spun it like a noisemaker. “Oh, very nice! I’m definitely keeping this! Thanks, Blue Bottom!”
Blue Bottom?
Leo glanced down. His pants had slipped around his ankles again, revealing his blue undershorts. “That’s it!” he shouted. “My stuff. Now. Or I’ll show you how funny a flaming dwarf is.”
His hands caught fire.

Rick Riordan

Tag: humor leo-valdez akmon



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We thought the fireworks were marvelous,” said Mort. “And I expect they'll soon be able to rebuild the outer wall.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor



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A man's body is like a circus. You can swing off his trapeze arms, lay your head on thighs like fresh-blown balloons while his cock performs tricks, soft to hard, a burst like a cannon if you treat him right.

Bojan Veljanov

Tag: humor sex



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It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor death creation



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I’m now ‘Doctor’ to the patients and I have to cover my ignorance by waving my arms and looking grave.

Howard Florey

Tag: humor funny ignorance grave doctor nobel-laureate patients md



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