I hereby vow to take any and all death threats at face value, unless you are, in fact, trying to flirt with me, in which case please threaten to bash my brains in while winking, like so

Kiersten White

Tag: humor death-and-love



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His red hair was buzz cut, and he wore his ill-fitting suit like something that he planned to rip his way out of when he turned into the Hulk.

Jim Butcher

Tag: humor hulk



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The Blue Hose of Presbyterian College and the Ichabods of Washburn University are perhaps the most amusing nicknames in collegiate sports; Blue Hose refers to stockings, not to melancholy courtesans.

Gregg Easterbrook

Tag: humor



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These relics have a history then?'
'So much so that they are history.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Tag: humor history



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The authorities are excellent at amassing facts, though they do not always use them to advantage.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Tag: humor



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Auntie Yang is not hard of hearing. She is hard of listening.

Amy Tan

Tag: humor listening



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Any conversation including the mention of Roald Dahl, Ray Bradbury, or Emily Dickinson is one worth getting into or at least eavesdropping.

Don Roff

Tag: humor authors emily-dickinson conversation gossip eavesdropping ray-bradbury roald-dahl



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Ah man. I remember the days of lying to my mother about a boy. Once I had a boy hidden in the closet and of course Mom wouldn't leave, so I finally had to pretend to get sick to my stomach just to get her out of the room long enough for him to climb out the window and down the tree. He fell, broke his leg. Ah, to be young again.

Amy Sherman-Palladino

Tag: humor growing-up youth secrets television gilmore-girls lorelai-gilmore



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I’m glad she’s so smitten with her new huntsman boyfriend and all, but venison-wurst? Gag me with a harpsichord.

Nicki Elson

Tag: humor fairy-tales fairy-tales-for-adults fairy-tales-retold



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You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.

Nicki Elson

Tag: humor romance sarcasm fairy-tales-for-adults



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