People who call themselves divas...you are not a diva. I'm pretty sure you're a cunt.
Sarah SilvermanTag: humor divas real-time-with-bill-maher diva
[After a period of separation, Phaeton and Daphne are cuddling.]
Diomedes, meanwhile, was leaning to look behind Helion, staring with open fascination at the display Phaethon and Daphne made. “I have not seen non-parthenogenic bioforms before. Are they going to copulate?”
Atkins and Helion looked at him, then looked at each other. A glance of understanding passed between them.
Atkins put his hand on Diomedes’s elbow, and pulled him back in front of Helion. “Perhaps not at this time,” Atkins said, straight-faced.
“They are young and in love,” explained Helion, stepping so as to block Diomedes’s view. “So perhaps the excesses and, ah, exuberance of their, ah, greeting, can be overlooked this once.”
Diomedes craned his neck, trying to peer past Helion. “There’s nothing like that on Neptune.”
Helion murmured, “Perhaps certain peculiarities of the Neptunian character are thereby clarified, hmm…?”
“It looks very old-fashioned,” said Diomedes.
Helion said, “It is that most ancient and most precious romantic character of mankind which impels all great men to their greatness.”
Atkins said, “It’s what young men do before they go to war.”
Diomedes said, “It is not the way Cerebellines or Compositions or Hermaphrodites or Neptunians arrange these matters. I’m not sure I see the value of it. But it looks interesting. Do all Silver-Gray get to do that? I wonder if Phaethon would mind if I helped him.”
“He’d mind.” Atkins interrupted curtly. “Really. He’d mind.
Oh, you mean like Orpheo rescuing Euniphon from the Underworld?” said Roland.
Rob Anybody just stared.
“It’s a myth from Ephebe,” Roland went on. “It’s supposed to be a love story, but it’s really a metaphor for the annual return of summer. There’s a lot of versions of that story.”
(...)
“A metaphor is a kind o’ lie to help people understand what’s true,” said Billy Bigchin, but this didn’t help much.
Tiffany got up early and lit the fires. When her mother came down, she was scrubbing the kitchen floor, very hard.
“Er…aren’t you supposed to do that sort of thing by magic, dear?” said her mother, who’d never really got the hang of what witchcraft was all about.
“No, Mum, I’m supposed not to,” said Tiffany, still scrubbing.
“But can’t you just wave your hand and make all the dirt fly away, then?”
“The trouble is getting the magic to understand what dirt is,” said Tiffany, scrubbing hard at a stain. “I heard of a witch over in Escrow who got it wrong and ended up losing the entire floor and her sandals and nearly a toe.”
Mrs. Aching backed away. “I thought you just had to wave your hands about,” she mumbled nervously.
“That works,” said Tiffany, “but only if you wave them about on the floor with a scrubbing brush.
Think before you stink
NightBitsTag: humor life inspirational
Five wild Event Maelstroms swirled in vicious storms of unreason and spewed up a pavement.
Douglas AdamsTag: humor
I look ridiculous and stupid. As I check myself in the bathroom mirror, I want to back out. I'm wearing a skintight leotard/body suit obviously designed by women who have no clue about men's plumbing, because the outline of my dick is obscene. Don't dudes who do this ridiculous sport wear a cup or something? I've been on a trampoline, but I've never done synchronized trampolining. Looking at myself in the mirror, I can see why.
Simone ElkelesTag: humor
I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it.
Douglas AdamsTag: humor
Yep, it's gone myffic all right.
Terry PratchettTag: humor
Seriously, who curses you with their dying breath and says, I hope your eye twitches!
Rick RiordanTag: humor curses percy-jackson dying-breath
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