It was hard to listen to Goldwater and realize that a man could be half Jewish and yet sometimes appear twice as dense as the normal Gentile.

I.F. Stone

Tag: humor conservative goyim barry-goldwater



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Senator Goldwater would have been a great success in the movies — working for 18th century Fox.

Hubert H. Humphrey

Tag: humor conservative barry-goldwater



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Dude, I can hear your fat cells photosynthesizing.

Tommy Sheppard

Tag: humor



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Cord followed up with, “I like it here, but it’s beginning to feel creepy. Does anyone else think it’s creepy?”

“You’re talking to a bunch of guys,” Yul said. “No one here is going to validate your feelings.” She tossed sand at him.

Neal Stephenson

Tag: humor



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I think I can safely say I am the only guy in NYC in possession of two cocks. Is that a bonus or what?

Jodi Knight

Tag: humor



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And I am always flattered," Rusty continued, "but I love my sister. Not in an 'I love my sister and I want to make out with her' way, that would be terrible and disturbing, but in an 'I love my sister, and I'm not going anywhere near the girl she likes' way. Be a big mess. Life is hard for me, with all my irresistible sexual magnetism. It's a real problem, almost as bad as the fact that my steps are now the number one crying spot in Sorry-in-the-Vale. I have to maintain control of the situation at all times or my life would devolve into a nonstop romantical frenzy".

Sarah Rees Brennan

Tag: humor it-s-not-you-it-s-me



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Nick: I had a great time. ;)
Delilah: Are you winking at me?
Nick: No, I had something in my emoticon eye :)~

M.D. Saperstein

Tag: humor



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I thought you guys were doing some kind of secret role-playing shit.

M.D. Saperstein

Tag: humor



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Let me Guess-you lost the coin toss with Dell, which left you stuck with me. Only you don't know how to tell me this because you're a penis-carrying human and can't figure out how to communicate with a mere vagina.

Jill Shalvis

Tag: humor



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He was hot like lava and sexy like cake. Wait, like lava cake. Yum.

Penny Reid

Tag: humor



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