Finding a life partner is like choosing a bed. You need one as a friend either in times of health or sickness. Freshness or weariness. Happiness or sadness. And we can be certain that we've picked the right one without having to sleep with it first.

Isman H. Suryaman

Tag: humor marriage

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You know what truth is? [...] It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes. If I want to make friends with him, I ask him what he believes. He tells me, and I say, "Yeah, yeah - ain't it the truth?

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Tag: humor real-life

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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.

Charles Bukowski

Tag: humor

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Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself.

J.K. Rowling

Tag: humor

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He was currently wondering vaguely who Moey and Chandon were.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor

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It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor humour teaching discworld

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Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won't answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!

J.K. Rowling

Tag: humor interview platonic radio nudge wink

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All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

Seán O'Casey

Tag: humor life world humanity fate theater drama destiny humankind stage

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Sorry I painted the word 'twat' on your garage door.

David Shrigley

Tag: humor regret apology shrigley vandalism

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Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Terry Pratchett

Tag: humor

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