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Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster,

I observe that there is a good deal of German music on the programme, which is rather more to my taste than Italian or French. It is introspective, and I want to introspect.

Arthur Conan Doyle

Tag: sherlock-holmes humorous-quotations

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Oh, adorable, delicious Amelie. If I weren't so completely straight and enamored with cock, I would devour this sweet little tart.

Ella Dominguez

Tag: erotic humorous-quotations

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Knock-knock, motherfucker.

Jenny Lawson

Tag: humorous-quotations

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Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS.

Jenny Lawson

Tag: humorous-quotations

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Lady Margaret believed in the three D's: Discipline, Desire, and Determination. But as she listened dutifully to her new employer, hiding her yawns and trying to sit up extra straight in her chair, Charity Hill began thinking of all the lovely things that began with S, such as Sleeping Late, Sex, and Shopping.

Elizabeth Jane Howard

Tag: shopping humorous-quotations

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During the settling of the American colonies, it was said that the Spaniards would first build a church, the Dutch would first build a fort and the English a tavern. Welcome to Charleston, an English colony founded in 1670.

Mark R. Jones

Tag: history-of-the-united-states humorous-quotations

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Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgment.

A.A. Milne

Tag: experience judgment humorous-quotations

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It's better to oversleep and miss the boat than get up early and sink.

Elizabeth Jane Howard