I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?"
"Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple."
"But...you did something nice. Why?"
He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?

Rick Riordan

Tag: humor madness sarcasm dionysus percy-jackson nice

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I have tried to teach you the wonders of the spiritual world...
...I have tried to show how we mortals can attain such wisdom...
...and I've decided you're a pillock.

[click on the thumbnail, art by Andrew Christine]

Roger Kettle

Tag: wisdom inspirational sarcasm

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Fine, it’s decided.” Vain resumed his stride. “I’ll do all the killing, and you do
all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does. Whatever the hell that is.

Luke Romyn

Tag: sarcasm assassin

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I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-"
"It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule.

Shannon Hale

Tag: humor sarcasm retort stubborn superpower

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Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.

Christopher Moore

Tag: sarcasm gullibility fool

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The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous.

Charles Dickens

Tag: funny sarcasm

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Sebastian just smiled. “I could hear your heart beating,” he said softly. “When you were watching me with Valentine. Did it bother you?”
“That you seem to be dating my dad?” Jace shrugged. "You’re a little young for him, to be honest.”
“What?” For the first time since Jace had met him, Sebastian seemed flabbergasted.

Cassandra Clare

Tag: humor sarcasm jace-wayland realization valentine-morgenstern sebastian

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...Though drowned was just as dead as any other way of dying.

Mercedes Lackey

Tag: humor sarcasm sadistic

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Clever is when one is crafty enough to mistake your imagination for intelligence. Smart is when one assumes they are too educated to notice the difference.

Kerry E. Wagner

Tag: humor satire sarcasm

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What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.

American novels, answered Lord Henry.

Oscar Wilde

Tag: humor books literary-criticism bad-reviews sarcasm novels american

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