Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor polls



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Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor americans



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The mai tai got its name when two Polynesian alcoholics got in a fight over some neckwear.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



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I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the same brush.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



Weiter zum Zitat


THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor sex fellatio



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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



Weiter zum Zitat


I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



Weiter zum Zitat


I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

George Carlin

Stichwörter: humor



Weiter zum Zitat


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