This is the most I have ever been in the sewers in one place. If someone had said to me a month ago, 'Hey, Jackal, guess where you'll be spending most of your time in New Covington? Ankle-deep in shit!' I would've ripped their lips off.

Julie Kagawa

Tags: humour allie sewers kanin jackal



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Isabelle: Do you want some soup?
Jace: No
Isabelle: Do you think Hodge will want some soup?
Jace: No one wants soup
Simon: I want some soup!
Jace: No, you don't. You just want to sleep with Isabelle

Cassandra Clare

Tags: humour funny jace jace-wayland cityofbones jaceishot



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Christ – wid ye take a look at that numpty? Fuckin "Popeye" izzit?’ Jimmy gestured towards the bar. ‘C**t obviously husnae hud his spinach, eh?

Jamie Holoran

Tags: humour swearing scottish glasgow



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There was something strangely compelling about a Japanese guy with lamb-chop sideburns and a voice so shrill you could be forgiven for thinking his testicles were wired to the national grid.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: humour voice sideburns



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Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.

William Makepeace Thackeray

Tags: humour prison funny debt escape vanity-fair



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Hopeless. Freak. Elephant. Pitiful

Donna Cooner

Tags: sadness humour



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Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas.

Neil Gaiman

Tags: humor food humour fantasy funny book gaiman graveyard blood vampire neil bananas



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People never forget things, they just never remembered it in the first place because it was too boring

Richard Saul Wurman

Tags: truth humour



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People talk too much, humans aren't descended from monkeys, they're descended from parrots.

Carlos Ruiz Zafón

Tags: humour funny



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But even if they could go home it would be difficult for me to tell you what the moral of the story is. In some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears', for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house". The moral of 'Snow White' is "Never eat apples". The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand.

Lemony Snicket

Tags: morals humour



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