You can label jam, you can't label man
Benny BellamacinaTags: wisdom philosophy humour mankind quote witty-quotes
That was when I realised a sad but incontrovertible truth: I was a geek, and there was no getting around it. I could dress in Kate’s clothes, but it didn’t make me Kate.
Sharon SantTags: humour geek-humor young-adult-fiction
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl PilkingtonTags: life age society death humour ageing stereotypes discrimination living-life-to-the-fullest
More polar bears live in Canada than in the rest of the world combined, which raises the question, Why the hell did we choose the beaver as our national emblem? We could have had Nanuk of the North, Lord of the Arctic, as our symbol. Instead we got stuck with Squirrelly McTeeth. Sheesh.
Will FergusonWell, you can't know it without something having been sneezed.
A.A. MilneTags: humour winnie-the-pooh a-a-milne
God is funny. He had a funny day when he made me. A funny, thoughtful, crazy day. He gave me a physique by which I would be so easily and so quickly judged, then gave me a mind by which I would so deeply magnetize, He put within me a heart with small, fast wings that I can hardly, barely handle, and then gave me a voice that hides behind everything in whispers. Oh, and also put a pen in my hand which writes me into madness! How can anyone possibly understand me? But I don't think God cared about that thought, when He made me! How ridiculously unfair!
C. JoyBell C.Tags: humor god inspirational-quotes humour self-discovery womens-inspirational self-reflections
What can I expect here? You know the fairy tale about the man who died, don’t you? He was waiting in Eternity to find out what the Lord had decided to do with him. He waited and waited, for one year, ten years, a hundred years. He begged and pleaded for a decision. Finally he couldn’t bear the waiting any longer. Then they said to him: ‘What do you think you’re waiting for? You’ve been in Hell for a long time already.
Anna SeghersThe snide little fucker actually paid you a visit in person?
~ Her Demonic Angel ~
Sometimes the body gets out of bed an hour before the brain.
Peter James WestWhat if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!
Cory DoctorowTags: humor humour computers funny lightning terrorism banning umbrellas
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