Like most Beta Males, he didn't realize that being a good guy was not necessarily an attraction to women.

Christopher Moore


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Don't bruise the Foo!

Christopher Moore

Tags: random suck from you



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Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.

Christopher Moore

Tags: love



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Do we look like thrill-seekers? Wasn't it enough that we had to put up that sign reading NO HABLA ESPANOL and acknowledge the existence of thirty percent of the population, even in the negative?

Christopher Moore


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The problem with being nuts, she thought, is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.

Christopher Moore


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Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.

Christopher Moore


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They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?

Christopher Moore


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Charlie Asher: I accidently shagged a monk last night.
Minty Fresh: Sometimes, in times of crisis, that shit cannot be avoided.

Christopher Moore


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The gourney, the big file drawers of the dead, the instruments of dissection - this sure looked like the morgues in the movies. Something had gone seriously wrong while she slept.

Christopher Moore


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Why is it one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere, but one must busta cap in someone's ass?

Christopher Moore


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