is there any I could get a glass of water?"
[waiter]There is no way... I toss and turn many a night trying to think up some way some how I could get glasses of water to costomers but I keep coming up empty..... Legend has it there was a waiter here many years ago... who had figured out a way to do just that but he is long gone and with him the secret. It had something to do with a glass rack and a faucet but no one has been able to put the pieces together so I must say no there is no way. HOW I WISH THERE WAS A WAY!!!

Brian Regan

Tags: comedy

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If you cannot find an element of Humour in something, your not taking it seriously enough.

Ilyas Kassam

Tags: philosophy humour comedy kassam

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Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

Jeff Kinney

Tags: comedy diary-of-a-wimpy-kid jeff-kinney

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He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins.

Paula McLain

Tags: humor writing comedy

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Love is as we will it to be." ~ Amunhotep El Bey

Amunhotep Chavis El Bey

Tags: poetry funny comedy lol humorous-quotations inspirational-quotations motivational-quotations philosophical-quotations

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Only love will attract love.”~ Amunhotep El Bey

Amunhotep Chavis El Bey

Tags: funny comedy lol humorous-quotations inspirational-quotations motivational-quotations

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Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey

Amunhotep Chavis El Bey

Tags: wisdom philosophy funny comedy quote funny-quotes philosophical-quotations

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In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.

Amunhotep Chavis El Bey

Tags: humor funny comedy fun lol humorous-quotations funny-quotations

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بعضهم يقول إن الحياة قصيرة، وأنك قد تموت في حادث سيارة في أي لحظة، فعليك أن تعيش كل يوم كأنه آخر أيامك. هذا هراء. الحيـاة طويلة. ومن المحتمل جداً أنك لا تموت في حادث سيارة، وعندها عليك أن تعيش مع نتائج خياراتك لمدة خمسين عاماً

Chris Rock

Tags: humor comedy

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To me, comedy is a great occupation because I don't really worry that much about what other people think of me.

Joe Rogan

Tags: worry comedy

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