I'd been willing to kill for the people I loved for a very long time; now I had to start living for them.

Laurell K. Hamilton

Tags: humor



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Still it might be nice, once in a while, not to have to choose between evils. Just once, couldn't I choose the lesser good?

Laurell K. Hamilton

Tags: humor compromise



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My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Tags: humor opinions fact right always changed humble



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When I asked my shrink if I was a control freak, he finished saying “Absolutely” before I finished saying “freak.” I told him that I once worked with a woman who carried a remote control in her purse. Whenever she got worried or angry, she took it out and stroked it like a gerbil. My shrink said that if I keep comparing myself to severe neurotics, I’ll think that anything is permissible.

Erika Krouse

Tags: humor



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One of the greatest myths in the world -

Lemony Snicket

Tags: humor life-truths



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Herr Kafka, essen Sie keine Eier." (As one and only piece of dialog K recalls from his meeting with Rudolf Steiner - "Mr. Kafka don't eat eggs.

Franz Kafka

Tags: humor criticism scepticism



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God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor einstein god gaiman



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Wit is educated insolence.

Aristotle

Tags: humor definitions



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Now, this one might be a little stringy, but then again, it's fiddle player."
That isn't fiddle player, it's piccolo player."
How can you tell?"
It's PIPING hot!"
Then blow on it first!

Stephen Sondheim

Tags: humor sweeney todd



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There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands...

Simon R. Green

Tags: humor



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