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Steve JobsTags: humorous-quotes
O Lord! he concluded, forgive all these trespasses. Lead me not into Penn Station.
Saul BellowTags: humorous-quotes
Macho and manly and stern and, oh man. Sam sighed. Guys like this were never gay. They were always the ones chasing the homos.
Anne TeninoTags: humorous-quotes
You should see the murderous stares I get on the street. Though I think that has less to do with seeing a man carrying a purse and more to do with paisley. Paisley makes everyone cranky.
Lisa HenryTags: humorous-quotes
No one is normal. Everyone is just pretending to be normal.
Alessandra TorreTags: advice reality humorous-quotes
Common sense is only irritating in other people
Martyn V. HalmTags: humorous-quotes katla
Life without risks is like a burrito without Tabasco. Bland, but you’ll still fart.
Martyn V. HalmTags: humorous-quotes
The main difference between a lawyer and a prostitute is that a prostitute won't screw you after you're dead.
Mark R. JonesTags: history-of-the-united-states humorous-quotes
We need to mask your scent.”
If stranger words had come out of his mouth, she hadn’t heard them. But then it clicked. “The thing can smell me.”
And it did get a good whiff at the house
Tags: humorous-quotes
Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song!
When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.
Tags: quotes humorous-quotes romance-funny funny-quotes adult-humor
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