The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
George CarlinTag: humor truth insanity lies lying self-indulgence
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Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
George CarlinTag: humor doubt reason belief skepticism absurdity credulity evidence gullibility indoctrination invisible
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
George CarlinTag: humor cats animals dogs language
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Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H.L. MenckenTag: humor evolution darwinism
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Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
Lily TomlinTag: humor
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
George CarlinI never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
Oscar WildeThat cup of tea is definately not down your alley
Jean FerrisTag: humor
I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
Gilda RadnerTag: humor
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George CarlinTag: humor perspective humanity humour philosophie
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